“Breakthrough”

Oils on Canvas. 2018

I don’t ever use black paint. Well at least I didn’t until this painting. It just seemed fitting this time. Black paint reflects no light, its a “dead” colour and I was feeling like I was surrounded by deep dark black, …engulfed until I could hardly breath and I couldn’t find my way out, I didn’t even know what way to turn. Panic was setting in and I knew I could not rescue myself. But could I call on my rescuer? Would He willingly enter my darkness and come for me?

This painting had become an ongoing conversation with God about what He is really like and the thoroughness of His restoration. He is not at all intimidated by the things we face. He does not back away from our awkward circumstances. He loves us and He is committed to our success. He already knew every detail of what had happened to me, it hadn’t taken him by surprise and I was pretty sure that this also meant that He had already thought about how He would bring me into a place of freedom again.

Psalm 18 tells us that “He rides on a dark cloud”. He hears our cry of distress and reaches down into our darkness to rescue us. With God as our strength we discover that we can advance through whatever stands in front of us. This realisation was what gave me the courage and determination to keep moving forward even when I couldn’t see clearly.

It seemed almost appropriate that a painting that I had already called “breakthrough” should fall off my easel, tearing a hole through the canvas and actually needing some real restoration. How would I fix this disaster? Having spent many hours on this painting, I wasn’t ready to throw it away, so I tried patching the hole. I even put a bible verse on the patch to make it look like it was supposed to be there! (Have you ever had that happen -you’re painfully broken and someone tries to fix you with a nice quote?) Christ’s restoration is far more thorough. A patch up job was not what he had in mind for me and it wasn’t going to be sufficient for my painting either. I knew that a damaged and patched painting had little worth.

The restoration process seemed extreme. I needed to cut my beautiful painting off its frame then crop the torn part of the canvas completely off. I carefully pasted the canvas onto a pre-painted, larger canvas creating the silver frame affect on either side. The results were a finished piece that was larger and stronger than the original.

God’s intention is that we become better than we were before…stronger, more beautiful and fully secured to Himself. It’s not an easy process, His restoration may require brutal cutting, removing us off our old framework of beliefs that keep us stuck in brokenness, forgiving and letting go of the ones who toppled us off our easel and cropping off of the damaged places that lead us to bitterness and shame. As we do so, we can then allow him to carefully and thoroughly coat us in His unconditional love that glues us to the larger and stronger frame of Himself.

He is the master artist and He knows what He is doing, so we can fully trust Him in the process. Beloved, you are His masterpiece and He won’t give up on you.

Where are you in the restoration process? Are you able to allow your Creator to come and make something beautiful out of the brokenness of your own life? Who is it that you need to forgive? What is it that you need to let go of? What does He have for you that will enable you to be fully restored? Go ahead and take some time to ask Him. (Write down the good things you perceive that He is giving you so that you don’t easily forget.)

If there are issues that you are still struggling to work through, please know that you are not alone. God is right there with you and He is fully committed to journey with you into the “spacious place” of complete freedom. If you need help to process through your pain, find a really good counsellor or a Bethel Sozo ministry near you, that can help you walk out of pain and into freedom.

Art by Sharon Tressler-Tiatia